501.WAV Salesman: "So long!.. Gotta catch the 501!" Homer: "He's getting away!... You blew it Marge!" Marge: "I don't think so." Salesman: "Ohhhh foiled by my own shotty merchandise!"

 

ACCIDNTB.WAV Bart: "It was an accident, man."

 

ALCOHOL.WAV Otto: "Alcohol increases your ability to drive."

 

ALRIGHTH.WAV Homer: "Alright!"

 

APU2.WAV Apu: "But sir, I was only following standard proceedure."

 

APU3.WAV Apu: "I don't want to live anymore."

 

APU4.WAV Apu: "It's time to settle the score."

 

ARREST.WAV Marge: "Taking an officers hat is an arrestable offense." Homer <in high pitched voice> "Oooh Oooooh what are ya gonna do about it???... what are ya gonna do??? <mocking> Ewwww I'm gonna arrest you.... <Handcuffs click> huh what???.... Marge...not here!"

 

BAD_COPS.WAV Springfields' Cops Theme.

 

BADGE.WAV Chief Wiggum: "Alright you scrawny bean poles... Becoming a cop is not something that happens overnight... There's a solid weekend of training to get that badge."

 

BARNEY2.WAV Homer: "I am attracted to another woman, what am I gonna do?? Barney: "Your infatuation is based on a physical attraction... You should talk to the woman and you'll realize you have nothing in common." Homer: "Barney, that is so insightful, how did you come up with that?" Barney: "It was on one of these bar napkins!"

 

BARTDONT.WAV Bart: "Don't have a cow, Dad."

 

BEGFORIT.WAV Abe: "Can we have sex??? Please???" Old woman: "Oh Abe!" Abe: "Oh well, I tried.... what's for supper?"

 

BOURBON.WAV Apu: "Mrs. Simpson, You did not pay for this bottle of Quickie Marts' Kentucky bourbon!" Marge: "Ohhhhh"

 

BRNSBEER.WAV Burns: "There's something wrong with this beer... I don't feel any younger or funkier.." Smithers: "I'll switch to the tablespoon, sir."

 

BUMTOWN.WAV Chief Wiggum: "Alright settle people.. People, settle.. Wood and Van stake out doughnut land, when the fire up a new batch, call it in. and Simpson, seeing how this is your first day, you're inexperienced and vulnerable, your beat is Junkeyville, and Bumtown."

BURPME.WAV Smithers: "But, what would you do without me, sir?" Burns: "Hah! I am not a baby who needs a nursemaid to burp me...<BURP!> you see?"

CAUGHT.WAV Lisa: "Hey mom, is this how you caught 'em?" Marge: "Yeah." Bart: "Face it Lisa, you're too puny to.... <THUD!> Ahhhhhh!" Lisa: "Hahahahaha!" Marge: "Lisa, unhand your brother!" Lisa: <Laughing> Bart: "Yeah, like that really hurt!....." <moaning>

CRABS.WAV Homer: "Why you little!.... Ahhhhh! Crabs!"

ENGLISH.WAV Homer: "English, who needs that, I'm never going to England!"

FANTASY.WAV Bart: "My fantasy has come true!"

GETLOST.WAV Flanders: "Hi diddely ho neighbor!" Homer: "Get lost Flanders!" Flanders: "Okely dokely!"

GRIFTING.WAV Marge: "Everybody... everybody please be on your best behavior... Bart.. No grifting!" Bart: "Awwww Raspberries!"

HEYSANTA.WAV Bart: "Hey Santa, what's shakin' man?"

HOMRJOKR.WAV Homer TRYING to sing a line from Steve Millers' 'Joker'.

HOWDOYOU.WAV Homer: "How do you do, sir?"

HUBBA2.WAV Hotel Bellboy: "OK there's your king size bed.. <wolfwhistle> <assorted noised> Hubba hubba!" Homer "Stop that! I love my wife and family.. all I'm gonna use this bed for is sleeping, eating, and maybe building a little fort, and that's it!"

HUBBA-2.WAV Bart: "Hubba Hubba!"

HUMOR.WAV Bart: "C'mon have a sense of humor about yourself!"

KISS-BYE Homer: "Kiss my curvy butt gooooooodbye!"

KMHYB.WAV Homer: "Kiss my hairy yellow butt."

KRUSTY.WAV Krustys' Laugh.

LEARNING.WAV Homer: "This is a place of learning, not a house of... hearing about things!"

LISALAFF.WAV Lisas' laugh.

LOTABEER.WAV Homer: "I'm gonna drink a lotta beer and stay out alllll night!"

MOE1.WAV Relative: <In Italian accent> "Hey Moe, whassa matter, you no talka with you accent no more.." Moe: "Mama mia!"

NACHOMAN.WAV Homer: <singing> "Nacho, nacho man.... I gotta be a nacho man.."

NED_FRND.WAV Flanders: "Oh.. I think it's time for me to duck again.." Homer: "No, I want everyone to know <loudly> that this is Ned Flanders, my friend!" Bystander 1: "What did he say?" Bystander 2: "I dunno... something about being gay.."

PROBHERE.WAV Marge: "We have a problem here."

RITEBACK.WAV Bart: "I'll be right back!"

ROGER!.WAV Chief Wiggum: "Roger dodger!

SLICK.WAV Marge: "Awwww that's slick willie for ya... always with the smooth talk."

SYSWORKS.WAV Bart: "Ahhhh the system works!"

THEMAN.WAV Homer: "This is great, I can finally look like I want, and not get hassled by The Man."

TO-POPPA.WAV Homer: "Wooohooo! come to poppa!"

UH-OH!B.WAV Bart: "Uh oh!"

WOOKIE.WAV Wiggums Kid: "He bent my wookie!"

YEAHRITE.WAV Marge: "Yeah, right!"

ZUTROY.WAV Federal agent: "This man's an illegal alien." Burns: "That's proposterous Zutroy here is as American as apple pie!" Zutroy: <Germanic garble>

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